Author: Kate Murray

Last night I watched the Bachelorette.  I never watch the Bachelorette.  I don’t know what got into me, but I sat on the couch, for two hours, listening to the guys “tell all” and recount their stories from the season.  Mostly I watched as they and this season’s Bachelorette, Ali, spoke of finding love and her quest to find the man of her dreams.

But as I watched, I thought about how different their experiences have been from my own – and if any relationship that begins in such a setting (not only in exotic locations, but on national TV) can survive the reality of life (most don’t – I think only two or three couples have actually made it down the aisle and are still together).

Is this the standard by which we’ve begun to judge our lives?  National television and reality shows?  Andrew Root, in his book, The Promise of Despair, recounts exactly that – we’ve begun to see life through a variety of screens.  We want our romantic lives to be like the fairy tale of romance on the Bachelor/Bachelorette (and cry or pout when they aren’t that way, just as almost all the dismissed girls and guys do), or our experiences of having a baby like that on TLC’s A Baby Story.  It seems in many respects, TV and the internet have become the basis by which we live our lives – we’re inundated with information that tells us how we should be living and what life is like.

But what about when it isn’t?  This is precisely when the crucified Christ encounters us – in our pain and our despair.  Love is not all about romance and frequently it involves a lot of pain.  The promise of God is one that promises to enter into that pain with us, to not shy away from it, to give life in the midst of it; all without profiting from it.  ”Good” television means a lot of drama and suffering – we want to see others cry so we can feel better about ourselves.  But what if real redemption comes not when everything goes the way we want, but by entering into the reality of pain with somebody who loves us by our side?

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3 Responses to “Screens”

  1. Jonathan Brink Says:
    July 27th, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    I watch another gameshow called Wipeout. Contestants navigate an obstable course and get pummeled a long the way. What I’ve noticed is that the course is designed to produce moments of hilarious pummeling. In other words, its designed for the laugh, not the contestants.

    I’ve watched the Bachelor and the Bachelorette in the past and I can help but wonder the same thing. The show is not really designed to produce relationship. It’s designed to produce a moment where we cringe, guffaw, and laugh AT the contestants. We’re in on the gag because we now know from the history of the show that no matter how much they think its real, it is not.

  2. Andy Root Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Kate,

    These are some great thoughts. And thanks for the dialogue with The Promise of Despair. Very cool site.

    Andy

  3. Kate Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    Thanks for the comments.

    Yeah, Jonathan, I agree. While I was watching the Bachelorette that night, they previewed a show that starts soon called the Bachelor Pad and it seems like they’re throwing every potential chemistry explosive person in the Bachelor house and hoping for some “good” TV.

    And thanks Andy, I’m really enjoying reading through your book right now – it’s like balm for my soul.

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