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Author: Kim Conway
Spiritual But Not Religious - What do we really mean?
We have all heard the phrase, “spiritual but not religious.” But if we listen closely we can see that there are multiple working definitions of this phrase, and too often we find that this phrase is defined differently by different groups. So in an effort to begin to understand each other and grow in relationship, there will be several articles that detail conversations between me, a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and people from multiple groups with an interest in this phrase and its implications. Following each of these conversations will be questions written by both me and the person with whom I conversed. It is my hope that you will read these conversations and questions, and then jump into the conversation. We can’t truly understand each other and learn from each other if we don’t understand each other’s language, and it is my hope that these conversations will be a contribution towards just that – mutual understanding.
Part 1 – A Conversation With a Young Adult “Outside” the Church
This is a brief instant message conversation between Pastor Kim Conway (PK) and Eric Heim (EH), a young adult from Woodbridge, VA.
PK: So, you know I have been struggling putting this piece into writing, and the more and more I thought about it, the more and more I thought it should be a conversation. A conversation because I think we (older folks in the church, young adults in the church, and young adults outside of the church) are using the same term – spiritual but not religious – in different ways.
EH: Yeah I would agree with that.
PK: So I thought the best way to get started (and not only on this article but the relationship as a whole) is to learn what others are thinking and meaning when using the term spiritual but not religious (SBNR).
EH: Ok…
PK: So I guess my first question is, is this a term that you would use to define/describe yourself?
EH: I don’t know that I would use the term spiritual to define my outlook. Rather I might say interested spectator or something to that effect.
PK: As I read that word, “spectator” it implies a separation from the church – would you say you are a part of the church? (And by church I don’t mean solely a local congregation, but rather the global expression and experience).
EH: My own relationship to the term spiritual is a kind of negative one. I immediately get mental images of Yanni, windchimes, and people with crystals on necklaces
PK: So what is your relationship with the term “religious”?
EH: Let me respond to both of these last two posts regarding the “church” and “religious”
PK: Okay, take it in the order you wish.
EH: With regard to the church, I am uncertain of what it is, if by church you mean a kind of universal concern with Christ and what this means then yes, but if you mean something more specific I like orthodoxy then I don’t think so…. I see religion as systematic with structured confessions, rigid.
PK: Okay, so you don’t have a positive view of either spirituality or religion?
EH: To an extent yes, but this is my knee jerk reaction to these words not what they necessarily encompass…perhaps you could call my position spiritual, I prefer for the sake of my ego not to use that word.
PK: Okay, so how, for the sake of your ego J , would you define (if forced) your position? What label would you use and how would you describe that to other people?
EH: Lets go with engaged.
PK: Okay, engaged in or with what?
EH: Spiritual may be easier, but I don’t know that i am spiritual in the non Yanni sense…know what I mean?…with what it means to be human.
PK: Okay, two questions…are you spiritual in the Yanni sense?
EH: No.
PK: And what does it mean to be engaged in or with what it means to be human? What does it mean to be human?
EH: I would say I am engaged in the experience of myself and the relationship between myself and my existence.
PK: So in that engagement and relationship with self, is there a relationship with another being, God, or a higher power?
EH: Perhaps, that’s probably the most difficult question, isn’t it? The most central and important too. Yes I think that there is.
PK: and can you define that other being, God, or higher power?
EH: That which coughed me up here, now. haha
PK: Hehe.
EH: All of those words would work they just have a tremendous amount of baggage with them.
PK: And for you, the baggage is negative, for the most part?
EH: Hokie more than negative…god is a man in the sky who knows if you’ve been bad or good (so be good for goodness sake)… Claiming the phrase SBNR is probably an issue of over sight within religious organizations, or the certainty found in fundamentalism…SBNR is a response to the control and certainty posited by the church in their lives for some…
NOTE: This conversation went on for a few more hours, really, but for the sake of this article and greater conversation, we chose to share this portion of the conversation.
What do you think?
Photo courtesy of bleggg
